序. 五十年という距離
It has been exactly 50 years since I graduated from high school and left Gifu.。
It's a strange thing、As we approach the milestone of 50 years,、people naturally、Start looking back at the way you came。When I was young, I only saw the future.。Where shall we go tomorrow?。What should I photograph next?。What kind of scenery will I see?。人生とは前へ進むものだと、疑うこともなく信じていた。振り返るという行為そのものが、まだ自分には早いと思っていた。
けれど、この歳になると違う。未来を見なくなったわけではない。However、これまで歩いてきた道のりを、急ぐことなく見つめ直したくなるのである。
今年、It has been exactly 50 years since I left my hometown of Gifu.。At the age of 18, I left home and headed to Tokyo.、After that, there was a period when I lived abroad.。If you look back、You have lived most of your life outside your hometown.。There were beautiful scenery everywhere I went.。I also encountered some surprising cultures.。as a photographer、I've been to countless places、I released the shutter。
nevertheless、Now that I'm about to turn 69、What comes to mind most quietly when I close my eyes、This is the townscape of Gifu, where I was born and raised.。Nagara river water surface。The ridgeline of Mt. Kinka。Continue to the shrine、moss-covered stone steps。
The older I get, the more I want to go far away.、I thought when I was young。But in reality、maybe it was the other way around。The older I get、People return to their hometowns in their hearts.。It's not a place on the map、It's probably the time that shaped who I am as a person.。
This essay is、It is a record that traces that time.。
一. 母がいた十年
me when I was young、He wasn't a person who returned to his hometown very often.。It's not that I disliked it.。When I returned home, I found a familiar friend、Nagara River and Mt. Kinka、It was still there。That's why I said, "I can go home anytime."、I thought for no reason。What is hometown?、that it will remain there forever、I never even suspected。
That idea changed、It was only after my mother got older.。
every time you call、``I'll be fine,'' my mother said.。The tone of voice doesn't change。But、Are you really fine?、Or are those words meant to reassure me?、受話器の向こうからは分からなかった。分からないという不安が、私を故郷へ向かわせるようになった。
帰っても、特別なことをするわけではない。実家で一緒に食事をし、テレビを見て、近所の出来事を聞く。私が写真の仕事の話をすれば、My mother leaned over and listened.。There are times when I roll my eyes and wonder, “Did you go that far?”、``The photo、I was sometimes asked to show it to me next time.。That's all、It was an ordinary time。
But now I think。What is the happiest time in your life?、特別な出来事の中にあるのではなく、こういう何気ない時間の積み重ねの中にあったのだと。母の晩年、その十年ほどは、それまでの人生の中で一番頻繁に故郷へ帰った時期になった。月に一度、時には月に二度。岐阜へは新幹線を使えば数時間ほどで着く。名古屋との間も本数が多く、時刻を気にして時刻表を調べたことなど、一度もなかった。その手軽さが、かえって「いつでも帰れる」という感覚を、私の中で強くしていたのかもしれない。
もし母がもっと長生きしていたら。Even though I know that there is no point in thinking about such "what ifs"、I find myself thinking about it sometimes.。
since my mother died、The number of trips back home has visibly decreased.。It's not that I can't go home。The reason for going back、one、quietly、But it has definitely disappeared。
兄は今も実家で暮らしている。だから帰ろうと思えば、いつでも帰れる。But、以前のように玄関の扉を開ける気持ちには、なかなかなれない。あの家には母がいた。母は、最後までその家で暮らし、その家で静かに息を引き取った。母の声があり、笑顔があり、There was someone who greeted me and said, “Welcome home.”。the house is still standing there。The kitchen too、Living room too、It's still the same as that day。けれど、The house from that time is no longer there.。even if it's the same building、The time flowing there is already different。until you accept that、I needed a long time。
二. 名古屋の写真展
10年程前のある年のことだった。名古屋で写真展を開いた。会場には、思いがけない顔がいくつも並んだ。高校時代の友人たちである。卒業すればそれぞれ別の人生を歩み、もう会うこともないだろうと、どこかで諦めていた相手たちだった。それが四十年近くを経て、We are laughing together in the same space again。
A reunion from my youth、It was always a coincidence。However, this reunion before the 60th birthday、Somehow it felt like it was inevitable。time takes people away。But the same time、person again、Sometimes I approach quietly。
After this period、How often do I go to Gifu?、大きく変わった。表向きの理由は、そこで再会した友人たちとの縁だった。But、all of that、ここに書くことはできない。
久しぶりに顔を合わせても、不思議と昨日まで会っていたかのように話せた。「あの先生、怖かったよな」「あの店、There's more.'' - We laugh at such trivial stories.。What are memories?、Maybe it's not meant to be nostalgic for the past.。myself back then、Something that reminds me again。That's what memories are、I guess that's the real role。
At some point、one of my old friends said。「杉山君の写真で、岐阜に恩返しをしたらどうだ」写真展の日だったか、それとも別の集まりの折だったか、正確には覚えていない。However、その一言だけは、quietly、しかし確かに心へ残った。長年、写真という仕事をしてきた。多くの人を撮り、多くの景色を撮り、多くの時間を切り取ってきた。And yet、自分を育ててくれた町に対して、一体何を残してきただろう。そう考え始めると、答えは何も浮かばなかった。
その空白を埋めるように、私は岐阜を歩き始めた。
三. 岐阜を撮るということ
母のために帰るようになってから、私は故郷を歩く時間そのものを、increased little by little。Because I'm going home、Let's go to the shrine with a camera。Let's visit a temple。Let's walk through the old townscape。The walk started with such a light feeling.、Eventually, my parents' home became my base.、My life changed to one where I stayed for about a month and photographed Gifu City.。I go home in between work.、Will stay again。Those days、lasted many years。
The long gentle slope approach to Inaba Shrine。Great Buddha of Shoboji Temple。Sofukuji temple rock garden、Grave marker and memorial tablet hall of Nobunaga father and son。A tranquil setting at the foot of Ensanji Temple。A quiet moss garden with a checkered pattern at Daichiji Temple。川原町の格子戸が並ぶ通り。濃尾平野を見渡せる岐阜城。and、季節ごとに表情を変える長良川。どこも岐阜を代表する場所ではあったが、不思議と私は、賑わう繁華街よりも、人の少ない静かな場所へ足が向いた。
若い頃なら、もっと違うものを撮っていたかもしれない。flow of people。urban change。atmosphere of the times。I must have been attracted to that kind of thing.。けれど、I was different at this time.。Standing in the quiet precincts、The time itself when you press the shutter in the sunlight filtering through the trees、It felt more comfortable than anything。
There's an unforgettable morning。From the roof of my parents' house、I was looking up at the still dim sky。雲が低く垂れ込め、金華山の稜線だけがかすかに見えていた。その気配に、いてもたってもいられなくなり、慌てて身支度を整え、金華山の麓へ向かった。着いた頃には、雲が山肌にまとわりつくように動き始めていた。城が雲海に浮かんでいるように見える瞬間は、It only takes a few minutes。Don't miss that moment、It was a morning when I kept staring at the sky.。That photo is、Not by chance、It was a photo that could only be taken by waiting.。
leave home early in the morning、There were days when I continued walking until the evening.。in the same place、change the season、change the time、I have visited there several times.。The color of light is different in the morning and evening。On rainy days, there were colors that could only be seen on rainy days.。The ones I went to the most were、It was the season of autumn leaves。In the precincts where the trees change color、that year、There are colors that can only be encountered in that moment.。So I、What do you mean by “just take another photo”?、I never thought。Today's light is、Today is the only day。The wind today is、It only blows today。What is a photographer?、My job is to capture those moments.、These were the days when I was reminded once again.。
bell sound。trees swaying in the wind。footsteps on stone steps。A building that has been standing there for hundreds of years。i first、I thought I was recording history.。Value as a cultural property、I was planning to leave it in the form of a photo.。
But now I think。What I was actually taking at that time was、Maybe it was “time”、When。people are born、getting older、it will disappear eventually。Even so, shrines and temples still stand there.、the next generation、Continue to welcome the next generation。Even when my mother was well。Even when I was still young。And even now。That kind of thing、The passage of time that is much longer than a person's lifetime、I may have been unconsciously trying to capture it in the photo.。
The photos I took、LaterWikipediadecided to provide it to。Article about historical buildings in Gifu、My photo is now being used。Also、I compiled the photos and published them as a photo book.。now、A page that summarizes the photos I took of Gifu(https://nsp-jp.com/gifu/)but、It has come to be referenced in various situations including tourism.。What started with a single word of encouragement、Reached far beyond my expectations。
四. 写真には写らないもの
me when I was young、All I was thinking about was how beautifully I could take pictures.。composition。How to apply light。transparency of the air。shade of color。describe every detail、precision world。I believed that was the value of photography.。of course、It's still not a mistake。
けれど、As I get older、How I look at photography、It has changed little by little。
In the photo、What is photographed、There are things that cannot be photographed。The shrine is photographed。Temple too、Cobblestones too、You can also see the sunlight filtering through the trees.。but、It doesn't show who and what you talked about at that place.。How did you feel when you pressed the shutter?、Not photographed。Photographs seem to record everything、実は一番大切なものだけを写さない。
So I、昔の写真を見返すたびに、写真そのものを見ているのではなく、その頃の時間を思い出している。「あの日は妙に暑かった」「あの日は風が気持ちよかった」「帰りに、あそこへ寄った」――そんな断片が、from one photo、It comes back to life silently and without a sound。What is a photo?、It's like a door that leads to memories.、I think now。
The job of being a photographer、often walk alone。no one bothers me、Wait for the light, relying only on your senses。That kind of time、i liked。so for a long time、I thought photography was a lonely job.。
But recently、Looking back at old photos、Sometimes I suddenly stop。Really、Was he alone?、When。
Inside the finder、Certainly no one is in the picture。that's why、It's a photo taken alone、I thought without a doubt。けれど写真を見つめていると、その場所の空気まで、不思議と蘇ってくることがある。交わした何気ないひと言。木陰でしばらく足を止めた、あの午後の静けさ。そういう時間は、一枚の写真には決して残らない。That's why、写真を見るたびに、写っていないはずの記憶だけが、かえって鮮やかによみがえるのかもしれない。
What is a photo?、つくづく不思議なものだと思う。写っていないものほど、忘れられない。
五. 帰りたくなる理由
伊奈波神社の参道は、長く、ゆるやかに曲がりながら上へと続いている。本殿だけでなく、境内のあちこちにいくつもの社が点在し、それぞれの神を祀っている。どの社へ向かうにも、また別の石段や小道をたどらなければならない。木々に囲まれ、夏でも日差しが柔らかく落ちるその境内を、私は何度か、一人で歩いた。足を運んだ回数はそれほど多くない。nevertheless、そのわずかな時間の記憶だけは、For some reason it still remains vivid。
There are days when I climb up to check each step.、There were days when I ran up the stairs, out of breath.。In the wind that blows in the temple grounds、Each season has a different scent。Spring is the smell of soil and young leaves。Cool in the shade of trees in summer。The smell of dry fallen leaves in autumn。winter is clear、painfully cold air。In the photo、I can't see that wind。But、What kind of wind was blowing that day?、I still、I can suddenly remember。
Why you want to go back to that place、I can't put it into words well。The beauty of a shrine、Something that cannot be explained by historical value alone、It's on those stone steps。おそらくそれは、そこで過ごした時間そのものが、風景の一部として、私の中に残っているからなのだろう。写真には写らない時間ほど、なぜか色濃く、心の底に沈んでいる。
私は写真家として、リアリズムを大切にしてきた。ありのままを、できるだけ忠実に残す。I believed that it was my job。But every time I look back at the photo、Even things that shouldn't be photographed、I'm sure there's someone I remember。The big tree I looked up at。The wind that blew through the temple grounds。I suddenly stopped in the middle of the stone steps。There、There's a hint of something that doesn't show up in the photo、There was definitely。
What is a photo?、写っているものだけでは完成しない。写っていない記憶があって初めて、一枚の写真になるのだと思う。だから私は今も、あの石段を撮った写真を見るたびに、風景ではなく、時間を見ている。
六. 同じ景色は、二度とない
写真を仕事にしていると、同じ場所へ何度も通う。朝と夕方では光が違う。The air is different in spring and autumn。So I、There were times when I thought, “I should just take another photo.”、never。Today's light is only today、Today's wind only blows today。
But、It wasn't just about the scenery.。life too、It was the same。
The time I talked to my mother、That was the only day。The time I laughed with my friends、That was the only day。I climbed the stone stairs alone、Even those quiet moments、also、That was the only day。
At that time、I thought it was just a normal day。See you next week、See you next month、I think a similar amount of time will continue、I believed without any basis。But life is、He always tells me later。“That’s it.、It was the last time."。
So people、I guess I don't find my memories beautiful.。that I'll never go back、Because somewhere in my heart I already know、I value that time。
七. 故郷は、記憶でできている
Every time I go back to Gifu、The town was changing little by little.。a new building is being built、The store that used to be there has suddenly disappeared.。子どもの頃によく歩いた道も、ずいぶん印象が変わってしまった。変わらないものなど、この世にはない。それが時の流れというものなのだろう。
nevertheless、不思議なことに、故郷はなくならない。町並みそのものではなく、記憶の中に存在しているからだ。
長良川を見れば、I remember the summers of my childhood。If you look up at Mt. Kinka、I remember the atmosphere on the day of the excursion。If you look at the stone steps of the shrine、I remember the light shining there that day。What is hometown?、neither a building nor an address。It is the time that has been accumulated there.。
So I、He wasn't taking pictures of shrines or temples.、I think now。I'm sure、time itself、I guess he was collecting things little by little.。
八. 会いたい人がいるということ
When I was young、If you think "I want to meet you"、I met you right away。That was the norm。But life is、changing shape little by little。parents are getting older、friends go their separate ways、Where to live、The way time passes will also change。and、Also the distance from people、becoming something different than before。
It won't cut out。However、Time will flow differently than before。Still people、you can keep thinking about someone。No matter how many times we meet、It's not even the number of words exchanged。people in their hearts、holding someone's place、I can survive。その場所は、時間が経っても、簡単には消えることがない。
that's why、ふとした季節の匂いに、心が動くことがある。昔よく歩いた道を、もう一度歩きたくなることがある。あの神社へ続く参道を。あの石段の先にある、静かな境内を。
今振り返れば、私はいろいろな理由をつくって、I went back to Gifu。to meet my mother。to take a photo。To create a photo book。To record shrines and temples。None of them、It was certainly true。Not a single lie。But、The truth is、It was never just one thing.、I understand now。
people are、I'm going home because I want to go home。I'm going home because I want to see you.。That should be enough、The more you become an adult、It seems like they will look for a plausible reason later.。If there is a reason、This is probably because people can move without hesitation.。But my heart is more honest、Reason is always better、I'll catch up a little later。
終章. 帰る理由
since my mother died、I go back to my hometown less often.。以前のように長く滞在して、神社や寺を巡ることもなくなった。何度か歩いた参道も、石段も、しばらく足を運んでいない。it is、もう隠しようのない事実である。
nevertheless、故郷が遠くなったとは思わない。むしろ逆である。帰る回数が減ったからこそ、故郷は以前より近くなった。心の中で。思い出の中で。and、写真の中で。
people are、失って初めて、その存在の大きさを知る。母がそうだった。故郷も、そうだったのかもしれない。
I、岐阜の神社や寺院を撮った。歴史を残したかった。文化を残したかった。それも本当だった。だが今、あらためて写真を見返すと、What I really wanted to leave behind、I feel like it wasn't the building itself.。The time that passed there。the wind that was blowing there。It was plugged in there、The light of that day。
The photo is、It's a job that leaves behind a moment.、I've always thought。But it was different。The photo is、Time that will never come back、そっと手のひらに乗せて差し出してくれるものだった。
So I、時々、昔の写真を開く。神社の鳥居。古い本堂。秋の紅葉。そこには誰も写っていない。けれど私は知っている。あの日の空気を。あの日の光を。写真には写らなかった、all of that。
それでいいのだと、I think now。すべてが写ってしまったら、Memories end there。in people's hearts、Only the scenery that cannot be captured in photos、There's a place to quietly remember。
An old friend told me。“In photos、Why don't we return the favor to Gifu?"。Without that word、I'm so enthusiastic、I might not have walked through my hometown。I was able to walk because my mother was with me.。I was able to walk because I had the means of photography.。I was able to walk because my friend pushed me。and、Even something that can't be put into words、There was always a quiet push on my back.。What is life?、It looks like you've been walking alone、always something、It is something that is gently supported.、At this age, I finally realized。
From now on、How long will it take to go back to my hometown?。it is、I don't know either。However、There's only one thing I know。
What is hometown?、Not the starting point of my life。Every time I look back on my life、It's a place where your heart gently returns to.。and in that place、It will continue to be the same、写真には写らない風景が広がっている。石段があり、風が吹き、言葉にできない記憶が、今もそこに、静かに残っている。
I、その風景を大切にして、これからも生きていきたいと思う。
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